And the verdict is….

The jury in the last post has officially returned a verdict: for today’s blog, let’s talk movies!

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Going to the movies.

For me, it is definitely a love/hate relationship. Love, because I love movies. A lot. They are amazing. Hate, because I have a history of difficulty with movies.

Let’s take this back to the years before 2010. The pre-cochlear implant years. Back then, the idea of going to the movies had absolutely no pull in my opinion. I would pay an average of $7.89 for a ticket (I Google’d it, mmkay?) to sit in a dark room with friends while I tried to comprehend whatever explosions/romance/mystery was unfolding on the screen. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before the movie actually even started, I would already be exhausted from trying to listen to my friends in the semi darkened movie theater. The recessed lighting made lipreading all the more difficult, and before my cochlear implant, lipreading was not a luxury. It was a way of life. Anyways, I would be mentally done with the evening before the previews even started. Long story short, I was more of a let’s-grab-pizza-and-chill girl than a let’s-go-to-the-mall-and-go-to-that-movie-with-that-hot-guy kinda gal. Sorry, friends.

Nowadays (a whole four years later, I know), going to the movies is a pastime I enjoy (thank you cochlear implant — I love you).  I do not need to rely on lip reading at all, particularly with friends (whose voices and intonations I am well-adjusted to) so I am not exhausted by the time the movie starts. I am able to hear and understand the VAST majority of the movie. I will still never understand dramatic whispering scenes, though.

Stop that people.

Movie theaters are perhaps the only places where I can enjoy an entire movie without requiring closed captions, thanks to that awesome surround sound. If, however, I am having a movie night with friends and we are watching off a laptop or a television at regular volume, closed captioning is still where it is at. God bless Netlflix and Amazon Prime Instant Video for your closed captioning services. Apple/iTunes, really dudes . . . it is time to get with the program. Unfortunately, this also means I am less apt to enjoy a streamed movie, but that is a price I am willing to pay (no pun intended).

Truth be told, those who have hung out with me and watch movies with me always say that they, too, enjoyed  the closed captioning movie experience. Not only does closed captioning create moments of added comedy, such as

this,

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and this,

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and also this

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but it also helps even fully hearing people to catch parts of the movie they didn’t even know they missed! So, really, it is a win-win for all parties involved. Honestly, I think it would be so beneficial for movie theaters to show all their movies with captions, but alas.

Actually, today in my Chinese Art, Literature, and Culture class, we were shown a foreign movie, so naturally it was subtitled in English. However, the language of the film (Cantonese) is much faster than the English translations, so the captions were flashing by quickly. Thanks to my nineteen years of practice reading captions, I was one of the few people in the class who was able to read the captions quickly enough to understand the movie.

Well, actually . . .  I lied. I couldn’t understand the movie. I don’t even think the TAs understood the movie. However, not understanding had nothing to do with not being able to read the captions, and it had everything to do with the half-human characters, a flying monk, and some laughably overdramatic music. Score one for hearing impairments. Whodathunk this impairment would help me in a situation like this? I mean, yeah, Idathunkit, but now hopefully youdathunkit, too.

Long blog short, I love movies. We are friends. Don’t feel shy about inviting me to the movies. Thanks to my cochlear implant, it is a love-love relationship. I have come a long way since the pre-2010 years, and the high was worth the pain.

Oh my god, I didn’t just quote Taylor Swift.

No I didn’t. Shut up.