Hey guys I am back =)
So today, I went to some dance classes (the first in a while, so my splits are painfully sore). Being a hearing aid dancer is not only like being a unicorn—you never see ‘em, but it is also like being a circus clown.
A circus clown balancing a ball on its nose.
A circus clown balancing a ball on its nose while juggling three oranges.
A circus clown balancing a ball on its nose while juggling three oranges while balancing on top of another ball.
Why do you ask, is being a hearing impaired dancer akin to a disaster waiting to happen? Well, that is an exaggeration. But, if things are not done right, a disaster will happen. A disaster that involves your thousand(s) dollar hearing devices flying across the room and shattering into several pieces.
I had danced before I got my cochlear with my hearing aids. Things were fine—the hearing aids were light enough so that I didn’t have to worry that they would fly off. The downside of this is that I could barely hear the music! I would have to feel for the vibrations of the bass in the floor, rely on peripheral visions of the other dancers, and the counts given to me prior.
Now, I have my cochlear. And I can hear the music for all the loveliness it is. But here’s the downside: the cochlear is a magnet attached to a device heavier than the hearing aids. Every time I pirouetted, or so much as whipped my head with more force than a leisured head roll, the magnet would flop off, or the device hooked around my ear would become unhooked. And I would be left worse than I was with two hearing aids—I would only have one hearing aid, and a faint whisper of music.
I needed to find a solution. After many tries, a situation was found. Are you ready to laugh? Here is the recipe for hearing impaired dancer unicorns:
-wig tape to tape down the processor hooked around your ear
-a gigantic hair clip to clip down the wire that attaches to the magnet
-a skeleton hearing aid mold attached to the processor to help hold it down (see, I told you I would mention our good friend the skeleton hearing aid mold again!)
-a low(er) ponytail to ensure that your hair covers the magnet to create a so-called net to catch the magnet should the centripetal force pull it off.
And that’s the end of the circus freakshow. 🙂
This is pretty foolproof, but of course nothing is perfect. Sometimes I sweat, and the wig tape unsticks, or the clip moves and the magnet is unleashed. Or the mold falls out. Or the ponytail isn’t tight enough/too tight. You get the idea. But I’ll say a good 7.5 times out 10, this method works!
As it turns out, dance class today went well! Except for one instance when my magnet detached for one second (but promptly reattached itself) this method was flawless. Now, about those turns….